It's a lot of pressure trying...

You have an interview scheduled for today at 8 in the morning. You believe in first impressions. You have to wear make up today but somehow the eyebrows have refused to match. You start over, you are getting anxious, and just when you think you're done,you  knock over your liquid foundation and it pours all aver your white blouse! The same one you picked out three days ago. Now you have to pick another one in five minutes. You get changed in a huff. You are not satisfied with your appearance but there are more pressing matters you need to handle...like getting to the job interview on time.You must also remember to go over the job description again....this is the second interview in a week.The third in a month. You have  had so much pressure these past few days, deadlines, dodgy boyfriend and an angry boss.You have been on overdrive with these job applications lately. So much so that you can't remember what you applied for. You just put in your diary 'interview'. Last week you interviewed for a call center position, then a sales position, you have not had time to read the interview invitation email in detail...you just took a screen shot of the venue and time. Anyway, you leave. It's rainy. You forgot your umbrella at work last evening. You have 200 bob. You can't take a cab. You borrow the gate man his ..(you are so glad you always say hi so its not too awkward). You still feel it's a little selfish of you...now he has to open the gate in the rain...but you can't allow yourself to think too much about it. You walk on in the rain. A few cars pass you by, some splash some water on you( thankfully you're wearing dark pants) You continue walking... your nose starts running. It always does this when you're under pressure. You forgot to carry an handkerchief. By this time your shoes are drenching wet. You're glad you carried high heeled shoes for the interview. You pass by the mall. You buy some pocket handkerchiefs  looking carefully at the price tag because out of the 200, you have only 20 to spare. A friend who sometimes picks you in the morning calls...he is approaching your stage. You tell him your'e near .You decide you can't walk in wet shoes anymore. You go to get changed in the washrooms. You decide you cant carry the wet shoes either. They are not so new anyway...so you throw them in the bin. You wipe your feet and wear your heels. You look in the mirror...retouch your make up with some powder. '' this new Maybelline foundation you bought is not so bad...'' You think to yourself. They said the primer is 1100 bob...It would look so much better with the primer...You try to think if you can get it next month...together with the matte ink lipstick, no maybe just the primer.... you are not a big fan of lipstick anyway.You brush off the thought... you walk out in your heels. Your confidence is definitely jerked up at this point. Your friend is waiting for you at the stage. He pokes his hand out and waves when he sees you. You walk hurriedly towards the car.... you get in....you say hi.''You look good'',he says. You smile, you tell him he looks good too.  Co-incidentally he is also  going for an interview. You talk about jobs, money, traffic the weather and why you're not married yet (a discussion you think is so unnecessary)...In the midst of it you open your email to see the job description. Its a sales job. He drops you at your destination and thankfully your'e first in line. At least now you'll have sometime to rush to the bank to deposit a cheque before you head off to work. You leave half an hour later. You walk to the roadside to get a mat. Your'e tired in those heels. You remember the shoes you ditched. You get the mat and head off to town. You alight and start walking to the bank. At this point the heels are really killing you. You decide you love yourself too much to suffer through this. You spot a Bata shop nearby...You think to yourself '' Si I can get those Bata Ngoma rubber shoes for 300.. but then you only have 180...and that's for fare too. You check your M-shwari loan limit. It's 10k... You can have 10k right now... buy yourself comfortable rubber shoes and probably a cold drink. (its still drizzling but your're sweating from walking in those heels). You had promised yourself not to take any loans this month but then you think maybe the problem is not so much on my money management skills...maybe the real problem is finding a way to afford these things I want...even the primer, the lipstick and  the  ridiculously overpriced foundation. So you take the loan...you get your rubber shoes and a cold drink. You head off to the bank then you go to work. In the evening you head back home.You do this over and over again.Once in a while you're  overwhelmed with these endless pursuits. Your strong will sometimes crumbles under the pressure...you might even abandon yourself in some form of debauchery...youthful impulses that you cant seem to overcome. Then the the guilt that follows those cheap thrills catch up with you.You put yourself in check.But once there are ebbs in your self esteem, the impulses come alive again...its an endless cycle..but then..you're trying.

Ps: Fiction