Dear Child.....

Dear daughter, 

I think you will want to hear this someday. I have been trying to write something for a while, I have a few drafts actually but somehow I’m always faced with the same kind of mini panic. It always starts with a little bright speck of an idea that I know for sure I can turn into a few paragraphs at least. Most of the time, I will take my phone and write the idea on my notes. I know that if I can avoid everything else (even the dirty utensils in the sink) and just write, I'll have a full page at the end of the day. …after some thought, I might decide to put everything aside and write. Then I am faced with the dreadful blank page. I will start the first sentence then suddenly my mind too will go blank. The picture perfect vision of a full page now turns into nothingness. The idea seems bland. 

Well writing is one of a million things that I need to get done.At least writing is voluntary. There’s also working productively from home, and trying to be a sociable and happy human while staying sane in these quarantine times. (I hope you read about this sometime). My child, there are easy days when I sit down at the end of the day and actually feel accomplished….and hopeful for better days. Then there are days when everything is so intense. I can’t deal with the feelings of uncertainty, lack of job security and my whole life seems like a mess. You might feel like this too. You might have no idea where to begin and you might be daunted to the point of dysfunction….It doesn’t help if you sink into studying your life trying to pick mistakes in the balance sheet that is your choices. Staying resilient and driven can be difficult during these times.Well, this is true but what is even truer is that if you really pay attention, it is during such times that you might get the blue prints to a meaningful life. Maybe what it takes is grappling with the fact that were all fundamentally flawed and broken humans and perfection is beyond us…..this is something we all understand but it’s another matter to admit. Well, I say this because I have come to the realisation that all of the little things that I can look back on and be proud of, are things that weren’t necessarily done perfectly…. they are the things that were done regardless….imperfectly, patiently……one step at a time. 

So what’s my point? Well, take note of this my child. We all have things we look forward to…but we fail by falling too much in love with the end result and not the process. Develop a vision but put your energy in the process. My daughter, you might not be sure what your real purpose is…or what to do to achieve what you want for yourself …believe me…it is the simple things. All it takes to know what you truly want is to look around you and fix the things that announce themselves as in need of fixing… by doing that, you will realise that, you’re better equipped to distinguish between chaos and order. Suddenly, not only will your environment be orderly but your thoughts too. And your goals become clearer .So set yourself little goals of improvement…..ask yourself…’’ What can I do to make today better than yesterday?’’ they are going to be things that you want to avoid…do them anyway. Break them down as little as possible then focus on just that…tiny little chunks you can actually chew.…make your bed, clean your room then do something more.…do that thing that you have been putting off for a while, run for a minute today, then two tomorrow, write a paragraph of your book, tomorrow, write two. 

My child,what keeps us from being happy and having a sense of purpose is the excessive energy with which we use to obsess over our dreams and the excessive fear of failure… and blaming ourselves for everything…..so, my child, be kinder to yourself. You might be afraid of failure, but that should not be your driving force. Your only goal should be yourself. Be better today than you were yesterday. You might lose your job today, you might not even like it…. so what? Do your best anyway. Learn to love what you’re doing now and the people you’re with. Focus less on what’s outside, what could have been…opportunities will advance themselves…. because opportunities too look where the grass looks greener…. so you have to water yours. 

My child, there’s a lot to be said .I can’t say them all. I would like to… but the truth is, you will also find your truth, look for it in books, look for it in people…listen to them, they might tell you something you don’t know. Go places, see things... but at the end of the day, remember that the real truth can only be found within yourself. 

 Love, S

 For LUTTA….you never know how little encouragement people need :)