A little probe

One of the major insecurities I have with blogging is coming across as too  self-absorbed or sometimes having the feeling that I have revealed too much about my life…which is why I usually publish immediately I finish writing ( albeit sometimes with a few errors here and there), to avoid giving room for second thoughts. Although the essence of my writing is heartfelt and unfeigned, there is always a fine line and a delicate balance when the story spills over to someone else’s life…something I’m still trying to find my way around. My work is essentially non- fiction so I find it easier to talk about things I  experience every day, and at the same time, find a way to make it somehow relatable. I once attended a poetry event at Nairobi national Museum courtesy of my friend Rakesh of Baiskeli adventures and there was one poet who said that artists are the window through which people can watch their lives….maybe not in those exact words but he had a point. It is impossible allow the process of writing without accepting the fact that you are going to share a part of you…because that’s the only way others can relate their experience or sometimes even get clarity of it. The reason I started this blog in the first place is that in a way, I wanted to process my own thoughts. I also wanted the reader to feel like they were having a mental conversation. I don’t know  how close I have come  to achieving that but the more I write, the more it seems I’ll eventually have to delete self-judgement and  guilt  from my emotional repertoire.  It would be so much better if I could paint it all in a picture but unfortunately I am not an artist so I guess I have to put it all down in a thousand words.

So in the effort of steering away from talking about my day, I decided to probe my mind a little deeper and write about political correctness when talking about social and political identities like Racism, feminism, LGBTQI,  pro-choice, etc.…. People who talk about these issues, more so, those who are politically correct, may have a genuine concern but also, some only do that because these are the issues that seem to attract enough eyeballs if you’re looking for any kind or relevance in this social media age. Which at the end of the day still serves the purpose because the goal is to promote awareness and advocate for equality and individual rights and freedoms.

For a long time I have been questioning my own beliefs about these issues. (I still do).Let’s talk about feminism for example. How do you know if you identify as a feminist? It is not enough to know the dictionary meaning of feminism when in fact people use the term with varied meanings attached to it. I think it is necessary that you are able to intricately expound your own understanding of the term before you affirm your position….that’s if you even think the word feminism is necessary ….and if so…to what extent do you agree with the ideas behind it. Think about this….you say you are a feminist but then you expect a man to hold the door for you or to pay the bill on a date....

In my quest to find out what feminism really  is,the general idea from various  sources was that feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of  the sexes. I also learnt that there are various types of feminism with varied levels of extremities. The most extreme being radical feminism. You might wonder, why feminism? is it necessary? Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (one of the most prolific feminists of our time) in an interview with Trevor Noah gave a rather satisfying response to this question…she said…‘‘the term feminism is necessary because we need to identify the problem for what it is’’ A statement I believe most people would agree with…‘‘just like we know all lives matter but we say Black lives matter because that’s where the problem lies’’.The issue I have with identifying with this term however, is that there might be a lack of responsibility that isn’t questioned enough or completely given a blind eye for the sake of political correctness. How am I supposed to identify as a feminist when I don't agree with some facets of it?  For example, it is not fair for men to be held hostage to self-serving women weaponizing their gender to get ahead at the expense perhaps more talented men.  Emasculating men, making them feel worthless and blaming them for all our problems is not only prejudiced, it is completely ignorant. I say this with the acknowledgement that there is a huge grey area here. When you look up the definition of feminist, it basically says a feminist is a person who supports feminism.  Feminism then, is a blanket term for different ideologies, some of which, people who claim to be feminist themselves, might not  agree with.  This is something that doesn’t exist when we talk about other issues that do  not  necessitate political correctness. 

I must say though, that I agree with some ideas of feminism. It’s very important that men and women get equal opportunities and equal respect at the workplace and in society in general. They should also get equal opportunities in education, business and leadership . I am completely against gender violence or early marriages of girls….or any kind of oppression because of gender. What I don’t agree with, is dissecting the term further and further to include every possible aspect of a woman’s existence. In a situation where respect is served from both ends…let’s say in a marriage set up for example, I believe it is necessary that gender roles are embraced. If that is what works for you.  Not to say that one gender should carry all the weight because it’s their role…but having the understanding that there’s nothing oppressive about taking on gender roles, if it will make things easier, is something I think should be regarded to be just as progressive as supporting the feminist movement. The reason I say this is because the society is a bit tough on men when it comes to being ‘the provider’  but at the same time, lenient on women who demand these men’s help when it comes to home making chores like cooking and cleaning. Of course this is just a surface observation but if you probe the matter further, you might find other reasons why a completely  egalitarian society might not necessarily be the society we truly want.

Well, the goal here is not to give my own argument for what I believe or stand for, but to argue that, maybe it's time we rethink political correctness . Not by being belligerent, but in ways that allow room for argument…for, or against what we believe. Or what we stand for, ethically,morally, socially, religiously or even intellectually. It is my belief that we should all be kind and fair enough to everyone but conscious enough to recognize that there’s something profoundly wrong and irresponsible about promoting individual rights and freedoms for the sake of political correctness.