Conversations with Sheilah

I just botched a painting job. I think I did, coz the colour is not even and I already went over it like 10 times. First of all, I don’t know who paints at night but I call it dedication….now I’m sitting here staring at the wall trying to make my eyes like it…It’s kinda growing on me but the curtains definitely have to go….to think I changed the colour of the wall to match the curtains….pity. Anyway, I hope it looks better with natural lighting.  Of everything DIY I thought painting should be the easiest, I was wrong. Tomorrow I will have to find a way to clean the edges….and my hands. Whilst I seem to be bent on disapproving my may-be first ever DIY…I was kind of in a mood because of this story I saw on TUKO talks and a not so good paint job seems to be the tug I needed to get it off my mind. It’s really true that getting up on your feet and moving, literally lifts up your mood. So as you might have guessed, the TUKO story was a sad one….with no happy ending at all…..the kind t...

There is a state I am trying to find a word for…. when you feel like you have taken coffee and sleeping pills at the same time and your mind can’t seem to figure out whether you want to sleep or stay awake. That is kind of what I’m feeling right now….after several cups of tea and a long, busy day. Anyway…here we are…still tempted to add some tea because it’s terribly cold but that will be the third cup in two hours….and someone once told me to manage my excesses and I think I took them seriously. It was just one of those passing statements, a bit too blunt for my liking at the time so I just swept it under the carpet….I didn’t want to probe it any further because that would only risk adding more to their rather entitled opinion….but it seems they still got the message across because I am still trying to figure out what they meant.…and I secretly want to go back to that conversation but I doubt they will remember….or if they will relate to it the same way…so ever since…that has been the...

I know! I know ...It’s me again….I know….To the one or two people who I routinely force to read this blog,  and any other person who bumps on it from time to time….I know….this is not what consistency looks like….. I wonder if I’m the only one who makes promises fully convinced that I will actually keep them, then when I don’t, I’m just as surprised as the person I made the promise to. This goes to all the people I have promised to find time and visit or meet but I haven’t…..trust me I wasn’t lying…..or maybe I was…..I just didn’t know about it.  How time flies! This time I will not say I have been thinking about passing through here….I haven’t. In fact, it has been anything…but. For one, because I thought I had more important things to focus on…. not that writing was a distraction, but some events really do force you to try and take yourself a little seriously….or at least appear to be….lol. And one such event led to me disappearing for a while….not that anyone noticed anyway...

Yesterday my laptop went off suddenly in the middle of a movie. I was convinced that’s it because it had started showing signs. Two days prior, I had lost literally everything I have ever saved on here-(what I thought was half my life lol). Turns out I don’t really need any of it because I’m still waiting to feel that ka pain that comes with loosing things .I can’t think of anything important other than the thousand versions of my Cv ,cover letters a myriad of my once late night assignments, some soft copy books…and countless drafts of unfinished ideas. That has been the misfortune of the week. A small one.  So today I decided to try it just one more time before locking it away and forgetting about it like I forget all my problems. Guess what? It worked! I really believe in miracles because I have no explanation for this so I’m just here trying to appreciate this old companion of mine (we really do spend a lot of time together). What better way to do that than to write on it one mo...

  Yes, yes, I know….. It’s me again creeping back onto these blank pages. I haven’t left any prints on here lately but my ink hasn’t run dry yet…it’s just that I have been spending time learning some new words on the internet….like ‘eatvist’or ‘totes’….so there’s that-which is just one among other excuses I could list here….like how I have literally spent sleepless nights thinking of an intelligent retort to this thing someone did the other day. A word of advice guys….if you are ever in a situation where you have the opportunity to be petty, BE PETTY. That bigger person isht is overrated…no one is giving points guys…do you and whatever is good for your soul. Otherwise you’ll spend the nights tossing and turning for some stupid isht that could have been avoided with a few right words at the right time lol….. I wonder what kind of role model I will be to my kids. Seriously though, I’m all about peace and love and good vibes so being the adult that I am, and a good Christian at that…t...

Today must be different because I’m writing this at 3 in the afternoon…you know, when the sun is bright…clear skies……literally no chance at anything to cloud my judgement -does this qualify a pun? .Don’t judge, there’s little to no creativity at this time of the day…I have been trying to write one sentence for a whole 10 minutes and I’m feeling quite humbled at this point….if you don’t know, being HUMBLED is the feeling that makes you want to just sit down, drink water and not say anything for a while. It is kind of the same feeling you get when life throws lemons at you….that brief moment of reflection before you make your lemonade .So here we are…humbled but not defeated…it’s a thin line hehe. The optimist in me tries to avoid using such words, but it is what it is…. Anyway…as usual, how are you? I hope life hasn’t thrown any lemons at you lately…if you haven’t been so lucky then more power to you…It’s only temporary. Lately I have had to remind myself every so often that whatever ...

I seriously don’t get people who leave the head while eating fish -this is a weird combination of words but anyway…you get…..like really, the whole point of eating fish is literally the head…especially eyes….yummm…..Anyways, let’s just say next time I’ll be minding my own plate. So ….that among other stories had me a little peeved this week. Now I really just have to have me some fish as an act of vengeance for all the un eaten fish heads…what a waste! So what’s up? How you doing? Are you longing for some fish head too? Something better maybe? Someone? What are you up to?  It is really true that when you get older, days go by faster, like how is it March already?….I’m starting to cross some things off my bucket list for the year…..like adding some titles to my bio…literally the math isn’t adding up…by the time we find the mans plus the whole nine yard….DRESS…if I may?  SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY! On the brighter side though….I’m all for equality so we… (Who haven’t checked this bo...